One day!

One day the tears will stop
My heart will start to heal
Memories I am holding tight
Will be gone with the wind
One day very soon
Sun will shine  again bright
I will forget the dreams I had
New dreams will be dreamt
New memories will be made
One day very soon
I will see clearly through my tears
That's when I will realise
Everything happens for a reason
On that day very soon
I will start living the life
I very much deserve to live

The Ranting begins...

A Lot has happened the past few years graduation,job ,marriage blah blah. But I feel like Iam right where I started..  is it normal?

Right now I feel so useless probably because I am not working or studying. the biggest activity of my day is going to the gym yesh I know ''SUCH FUN'

My husband has been asking me to do something I like ,everyday he goes '' have you thought of something?''  Have you decided whether you are doing that exam'' I got so annoyed yesterday I asked him '' What do you want me to do? do you want me to conquer the world? He looked at me with a confused look on his face and kept quiet. I know he means well but I for some reason I was annoyed. anyway I am not stupid I know I need to find something to do because I can feel my brain rusting already.

The problem I have is right now the only thing I really want to do is a masters and It costs a fortune so I need to wait at least another year or two before I go back to Uni. There are so many options out there, why don't I feel interested in anything?? I get really excited about something and in a week or two it just becomes boring.

Anyway to keep my sanity I thought I should update my blog.. so hopefully there will be more interesting posts to read  during the next few weeks ( That is if I DON'T get bored )

Hello Again!

Hi there everyone, It has almost been a year since I wrote my last post. I couldn't even think of writing anything than essays for the last couple of months, Life has been really hectic but at last am graduating , that's a big relief. I didn't do great on my exams but I did OK I guess, Since I skipped second year and got in to third year everything was very difficult and I never thought i will pass, anyway I am glad that nightmare is over !
but now I am feeling so bored and useless I wish I had something to study. Job hunting is the worst thing in the world, now I have moved from Sunderland to London, am looking for jobs desperately. I wake up in the morning, and the first thing I do is applying for jobs , I apply for half a dozen of jobs everyday but I never get a reply , even if i do, they say I don't have enough experience, how the hell am I supposed to get experience if nobody hires me??
I was always dreaming of getting a degree, I thought everything will fall in to places after that, but guess its the other way around my life is more scattered now, there is no certainty , and am penny less ,I have limited going out and am stuck at home 24/7. and the worst part is my Fiance is super busy that I rarely talk to him, I have not seen him for months, I don't blame him coz he has to earn his tuition so he is working like mad, but still I feel as if I am all alone! :(
And I am figuring out how to go to my graduation coz it will cost me around 300 pounds, everyonr wants me to go, but I am wondering whether its worth it?
Sorry for the public lamenting but really needed to get it out of my head!! Hope I will have something interesting to write about the next ime!

wow It has been a year !

For a long time i have been so lazy to write anything, but now even though I am in middle of exams I really want to write about my special upcoming day :)
Its my first anniversary with my boyfriend on 13th July ,yeah yeah i know 13th i s bad luck , but its much worser we got together on a 13th Friday the unluckiest day ever, but it turned out to be the luckiest day in my whole life...
I have never been in a relationship like this before and I really have no idea what to do. I know we should celebrate it but I don't no how .. I know have to give my man something but I don't no what.. I am confused like hell, because I want this to be the best day ever but I have no idea how..I am pathetic aren't I? I really wish I could go Somewhere romantic and spend the day together and have a candle light dinner under the stars ( yeah I day dream a lot) , but I guess it only happens in movies.
Since it has been the best year in my life I want to celebrate it sooooo much, but the timing is not good because our final exams starts on 18th and also we are TOTALLY broke...Not that I want it to be exotic, I just want it to be sweet and memorable but I have no idea how to..

I am pretty sure my Boy friend is also having the Same thoughts right now, but I guess we have no choice,other than spending our special day just like a another lazy Sunday with lot of cramming .. so much for all our romantic plans :( guess we could celebrate it some other day when we are in a much relaxed and better situation , but it wont be the same..will it?

Anyway what really matters is the love we have for each other isn't it?and I think
I shouldn't be so worried because we will have many more anniversaries to celebrate and this wont be our last.

If u guys have any good ideas for me let me know...
keep blogging :)

I NEED TO GET OUT!

arrrrrrghhhhhhhh! I am Damn bored," its raining its pouring the old man is snoring" so cant go out, since I have terrible cold, cant do anything I like,I will end up with pneumonia if I go out again.(since I ate ice cream while walking in the heavy rain, but I don't regret it one bit)
I badly want to go home,I miss sri lanka , I miss my nosy aunties and my annoying little cousins , I miss having conversations with my dad and mum.I Want to have pol sambol with bath and watch a sinhala teledrama ,Why is life so boring when ur alone? spending time with the most annoying little cousin of mine seems to be lot more fun than spending it here in this country...
All my friends go home in weekends and I am left alone in this bloody apartment. I feel like I am in jail.may be jail is better than this.. I don't know what to write even, my mind is a jumble,
I cant go out and enjoy since I am soooooooo broke as well.
I am ALONE,BORED,BROKE n HOME SICK! Can life suck more than this....
I cant take this anymore , need to get out before I go insane!
Wish i could go 10 years back :(

Am I losing u?

Am I losing u little by little,
Because I end up in tears every night,
U say ur helpless but so am I,
Is this fate I ask myself,
Can it be so cruel,
To hurt me like this,
Over and over again,
I am going to lose all my happiness,
My dreams,hopes and specially u,
Ur the one who made me smile
Now ur the one whose making me weep
We are loosing each other,
Even Without a fight,
how can u give up hope,
without even trying at all,

When was the last time u held my hand?
When was the last time we laughed,
If I knew that was it,
I would never have let that moment pass,
So is this the end,
Should I tell u good bye,
knowing that I wont see u or ur sweet smile again,
So many happy memories,
So many promises kept,
Memories will fade,
Promises will be broken,
Time will make us forget it all,
But how long it will take ,
To mend a Broken Heart,
All I am asking u to just give it a try,
For once and for all,
Oh! how I wish this was all a bad dream,
And that tomorrow will dawn bright and new!

Crazy 7!

Aiyooo this tagging business! I am down with a cold, but I don't want to be the last to post this because then i will end up with no one to tag!
I have been tagged by Mees and Acromantula. thanks guys!

The rules:

• Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
• Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
• Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
• Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

k now for my weird and random 7

1. I have to apply lotion on my feet at least 10 times a day or I will feel dry and wouldn't be able to fall asleep.

2.I taste SOAP every now and then (new soap before using)

3.I wish I was tall , slim and had straight hair and could wear earrings(yeah i cant wear earrings because my ears gets infected) :((

4. I cant fake smile , If I am angry or mad with someone or dont like speaking to someone ,I cant hide it. My face will give me away.

5.Sometimes I feel jealous when my parents pet my nieces and nephews.

6.I am Addicted to F.R.E.I.N.D.S, I need to watch at least one episode everyday.

7. I think I am psychic (haha) because most of the time ,I can guess what people are thinking and can feel if something is going wrong! actually I have lot of fun because of this.

Since almost everyone is tagged, I am only going to tag Elhamza , Spiced and Thakshila